


Wine Flavored Ice-cream and one Black Cat

by Midnightsoullove



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 19:25:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2879114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnightsoullove/pseuds/Midnightsoullove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set directly after episode 34. A little different, mostly sad. Read at your own risk. Carmilla dies, Laura deals. I promise that if you are able to get through it all, there is a different sort of happiness at the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wine Flavored Ice-cream and one Black Cat

It's been seven days since the major fight. Seven days so far that you have spent grieving Carmilla. Every day, at least once a day you would say those three words that have been breaking you over and over again.  
  
 _Carmilla is dead._  
  
Once is all you can manage though because your voice begins to crack.  
  
Just once you would have loved to say 'not dead', but you know that isn't the case so you stop yourself short.  
  
Perry and Lafontaine have tried to help you in their own way by being your steady supply to wine flavoured ice cream. You wonder how they were able to direct that through, with all the extreme teacher supervision that has been going on now.  
  
That is all you will allow them to communicate with you though, and you know they've been hanging outside your closed door wondering if you are okay.  
  
You sit on the windowsill, void of Carmilla's presense. You always wondered why she spent a ton of her time here. It was just the sky and stars and on most nights the stars weren't even shining.  
  
The unopened note you found tucked inside your favourite yellow pillow case days ago, signed in Carmilla's perfect handwriting, addressed to you in one of the many pet names she had for you, is held in your hand. Consequentially, it is also your favourite name on the letter.  
  
A tear slips down your face.  
  
You don't want to open the letter, but you have to because these will be those final words that you need to see since your girl has stubbornly refused to put anything on the video.  
  
You take a huge breath, and release it as an agonizing sigh. You get off the ledge, make space for what you hope is Carmilla's spirit and essence to take its place again and walk back to bed and under the covers not bothering to actually shut the door to your room all the way this time.  
  
You take the note out from the large off-white colored envelope and there's nothing left to do but read,  
  
 _My Dear,_  
  
 _So you've found this. Good. I knew you would. I guess I have finally ruined that intriguing part of myself that you so love because it happened to be in the most obvious place in the world? Sorry about that. At least now you won't have to pull that thing away from me every single morning._  
  
 _I don't want this to get too long. I'd like to keep this short and sweet, like you. So, yeah... I love you Cupcake and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not recording this for you since I know how much you would rather see my face right now. It kills me too to not be there with you. To dry your tears._  
  
 _But let me tell you something, I've lived a long time and I've seen love die and bloom but nothing like ours. Our love is really personal to me, you are her Laura. You are my Elle. So forgive me if I wanted to write this to you instead of broadcasting it to everyone. There were other matters to attend to, like saving you._  
  
 _Because I have seen so much and you are still young and seen nothing compared, I have decided it was better me and not you. Believe me, I thought long and hard about doing this. Whether to be selfish and let you live on without me or let you try to be the hero and kill the many years you have before yourself. I couldn't let it be you, I'm sorry. You simply wouldn't have beat my powerful mom. You are a strong girl, and even though you are the only one for me for all eternity, I have faith that there is someone out there for you. Even Danny, I'd be completely fine if it were Danny. She cares about you almost as much as I do. Please forgive me. I couldn't lose you, not twice._  
  
You wipe your eyes to try to stop the fall but it's no use so you say fuck it. The collar of your shirt is stained, it didn't even click to you to bring tissues.  
  
You continue to read. A knock sounds at your door but you don't hear it.  
  
 _Sweetheart, I don't want you to worry. I am fine, and I have enough memories to last a lifetime. I don't know what they do to useless dead lesbian vampires; I am only certain that we don't get a proper burial. Maybe we get thrown into a ditch. Don't come find my body, otherwise I won't be able to see you._  
  
You are confused.  
  
 _I bet you are confused now, aren't you creampuff? Remember how I used to sit at our windowsill and look out to the sky. You thought I was wasting my time looking at stars that didn't shine. But they did and when they did I was at my happiest moments because those were the moments where I would connect each star and constellation to form an image of your face, for this moment. So now I have that forever. If you find me and throw me in a wooden box that will ruin everything. So don't. Please._  
  
 _Finally, I have left you a lock of my hair for keeps to remember me by. I love you, Laura. I know you need your time to grieve but let yourself move on to the next chapter in life when the time comes. Don't remain stuck on the same page._  
  
 _I love you_  
 _Forever and always,_  
  
 _Carm_  
  
You tilt your head back, close your eyes, and take deep breaths before going to the envelope. Suddenly you are feeling very drained and tired. All your tears spent.  
  
You hear a kitty mew and look to the foot of your bed. On the one hand you think it's an apparition of Carmilla, but then you look better and see it's an actual cat so you pick it up.  
  
You look at the black kitty better. It couldn't be more than three weeks old. You look at the lock around its neck and see that there is no owner but a message from your Perry and Lafontaine.  
  
 _Door was open. We hope you are okay. Here is a kitty...from Danny. She's unnamed. We figure since she's yours, you should name her. Feel better._  
  
 _Perry and Laf_  
  
You begin to cry again, over everything that has happened Danny has been so understanding and gave Carm and you some space. You want to give her a hug as a thank you. She basically gave you the epitome of Carmilla.  
  
You don't rush to name your new cat. You don't know her personality well so you want to leave it a few days.  
  
Instincts tell you it is a sure thing to name her after your lost love, but it is risky. The kitty seems to have other ideas as well at what to do now as she curls up next to you and falls asleep purring.  
  
You turn your lamp off, spilling the room in darkness and lay your head next to your new companion, tears now lightly falling upon her fur. Then you sleep.  
  
In the morning you wake up. You take a quick look around your room, find the envelope next to you still with no creases and shockingly find your cat sitting in what used to be Carmilla's favourite corner on the windowsill. She is looking at you. Then it hits you, you name your new cat Carmilla and you smile feeling much better already.

**Author's Note:**

> Phew you made it; thanks for reading.


End file.
